Today's the day they predicted you would be born. October 24th. We've spent the last 40 weeks together. 9 whole months. It's been hard and it's been wonderful too. I would do it all over again for you. It's hard to know what to feel today. Part of me is tired and sore and glad that I won't be feeling sick everyday. But most mom's get to feel that without guilt because they get to hold their little ones in their arms and raise them and love them the rest of their lives. But I don't get to have you and hold you for that long. I don't know how long we'll be together. I wish I knew. I wish it were forever.
But I am comforted in the fact that I know the one who will be holding you forever. When you are no longer with me anymore, it'll be Jesus holding on to you. He is mighty and strong. But you don't have to be afraid. Because while He's like a lion, He is also like a lamb. He is gentle and loving and caring. And that's the side He'll show to do. He's the one who's been protecting you this whole time. And you'll get to see and experience so many new things. I mean I've done as much with you as I could, but there are sights and sounds and smells that even if you were on the earth for a time you would never see here. You know how you like the music at church, well you'll be hearing the most beautiful music and dancing around just like you do in church. There will be lots of people who want to meet you. And it'll feel like no time at all until we are together again.
So let me tell you about tonight and tomorrow. Tonight you and me and daddy are going to the hospital. They'll listen to your heartbeat once and put that machine on my belly to feel contractions-most likely anyway. Then they'll give me medicine to make sure you can come out nice and easy. We'll have some friends over too to chit chat and keep our spirits up. Then hopefully we'll be able to sleep, and that will be our last night with you swimming around in there.
The next morning they're gonna look at me and make sure things are good for you to come out. If they are then they'll give me another type of medicine. That's when it happens. I don't really know what you'll feel to be honest. But I'll be feeling what's called contractions. They don't feel very good, so if you hear me make some noises its okay, things are normal. And you'll be moving down and down and then suddenly out you'll be. Where I'm hoping and praying that you'll feel that air and give a good cry and breathe just right and they'll wrap you up and hand you to me and daddy. And we'll cry and tell you how much we love you and how glad we are to see you. No matter what happens though, know that we love you always.
Love your Mommy always
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