Seeing what's what.

Little one I must say. It's been a pretty bad few days. I went to church and couldn't sty because the smell was so strong and it was so loud. It was sensory overload. So Daddy and I went outside and then he went to get the car. During that time a little boy came up to me and ask to sit on the bench next to me. He had a stick he had found and was talking to me about it and he told me his name and that he liked Star Wars. The whole thing just made me really happy. It was like the Lord saying hey it's gonna be alright.
The next three days after were a trial though. I was horribly sick Monday throwing up three times. I did find that I could eat tortilla chips, green tea and M&Ms. But that didn't work for too long because today i was hungry and not hungry. I had to leave work early because I felt pretty bad. Then my boss told me that she's going to limit my hours to like 5 and I have to call to sees if I can come in for more. But after that frustration daddy let me cry in frustration on his shoulder and then got me a Big Mac and then I ate it all down and felt better. But I was still hungry so daddy made me eggs and toast. Unfortunately I realized too late that I shouldn't have eaten so much and it just made me sick again. But I got my self together and we went to a friends house. Matt and Sara Beth. They just had a baby a month and a half ago. So we finally got a chance to meet her. She was precious. She was a bit fussy when I held her-she was kinda hungry. But after she was fed then your daddy held her. It was a really good moment. She feel asleep in his arms and woke up and he was making all kinds of faces and kissing her little hand. All the wonderful things he'll do to you too! It made me feel even better that he's gonna be your daddy. The whole time he was holding her it was like a golden fuzzy frame was around them. I can't wait to see him hold you.
IT was also nice to talk to Matt and Sara Beth because they had a lot of good advice. They also made me feel good that the feelings of frustration I have right now because of the sickness is pretty normal. So while I may not let you read this journal for a long time, I'll let you read it when you have your own children. Because you're not alone. And if you feel frustrated talk to someone who has recently been there. Trust me they'll remember better. Of course they said it's all worth it in the end and I know it is, but in the meantime its good to be understood. This will all work out I know. I wish I could kiss your little face right now but I'll have to wait for awhile. I love you lots!
Love mommy